Delivering Bad News in a Good Way

An artist asked the gallery how his paintings were selling. "I have some good news and some bad news," said the gallery owner.  "A guy was in here yesterday, and asked if your paintings will appreciate in value after your death.  When I told him 'yes,' he bought all 15 of them!" 

"That's great!"  said the artist.  "But what could the bad news possibly be?" 

"He was your doctor." 

Let's face it...nobody likes bad news.  Not the bearer, nor the recipient.  As a matter of fact, our whole culture seems to have shifted away from the direct approach to bad news, in favor of a watered-down, euphemistic and politically correct form of communicating that does nobody any good. 

For example...people are not fired or laid off any more.  Consider these real world examples: 

A major oil company spokesperson said, "We're managing our staff's resources.  Sometimes you manage them up and sometimes you manage them down."    

Or this one:  A large corporation referred to layoffs as "headcount reductions." 

Or better yet: Another large company refused to lay off anyone.  Instead, they said there were "surpluses" in several divisions, and a new "force management plan" would be introduced to correct "force imbalances."  They went on to say that once "surplus managers" had been identified, they would be given a "separation payment to leave." 

Don't you think it might be kinder to rip the Band-Aid off all at once?  I certainly do. 

The delivery of bad news calls for tact, diplomacy, and concern for the well being of both you and the other person.  To incorporate these qualities into a conversation in which you must deliver bad news, the following steps will help. 

1. Pick a time and place when you can be free of distraction or interruption.
2. Get right to the point.  Announce up front that you have some unpleasant, unfortunate, disappointing, or disturbing news.  The right words?  Simple: "I have some unpleasant news."
3. Use "softeners" to open.  For example: "I'm sorry to have to tell you..." or "I'm afraid that..."
4. If the news is coming as a shock to the other person, be prepared for their emotional reaction.  LET THEM vent, if they seem to need to.  DO NOT try to get them to "calm down, be reasonable."
5. If you are concerned about their reacting with violence, make sure you have provided for your own safety and security.  Either have a witness present, or alert security in advance.
6. If appropriate, once the shock has abated, offer the person resources they can pursue.
7. Forgive yourself for being the bearer of bad news.  You are not causing their distress...the news is.